mom

my earliest memories are
of little square blankets full of
toys, Captain Kangaroo and
hiding behind polyester floor-length
curtains in the only house I can
remember.

my mom didn’t drive until she was
older, or maybe it was until our
family could afford two cars –
I never asked – but for me all
it meant was lots of long walks
alongside my mom next to my
brother’s stroller for milk or for
bread or for whatever it was
grownups did.

after toothbrushes
the yellow triangle on the
ceiling would peek in from
the hallway that connected
the bedroom my brother and I
shared to the kitchen to the
living room to the front porch
to the world we called home

every night we would call
like twittering birds for mom to
come tuck us in and say goodnight
to another day.

mostly it was just a game
between hyperactive boys born
fifteen months apart, heads full
of James Bond and monsters
but mom would come in every night
to play anyway:
rubbing our backs
brushing our hair
pulling the covers up tight

years later when I was a goofy
teenager exploded in pieces all
over her lap because some girl
had shown me the crazy side of
love, all I wanted was her to
tell me everything would be ok
in the morning.  it wasn’t, of course,
and she knew, of course, but she
still brushed my hair anyway.

now that I am older I know
that moms just make their own
medicines.  they are the most
holy of all the ancient doctors.
witch hazel and spice mixed up
and spread across our lives
and dabbed on with tissues like
some magical salve.

when you start to see yourself
from farther away than just the
mirror in the morning, you can see
where you came from.  yes, I have
her green eyes and thick brown hair
but what I mean to say is I expect
people to be good without even
asking why and that this world
is full of almost unknowable kindnesses.

my mother is the loveliest of souls.

I brush my wife’s hair
almost every week now
and try to straighten
the tangled lives we’ve made.

mostly boys are full of boo-boos
and ants, but some of them
still practice those secret
formulas they learned so long ago.